November 14th, 2019
Since my girlfriend has left Maine, I’ve been at a very low point. I miss her terribly and I also don’t have anyone to push me to eat and shower and take care of myself. I have been in so much pain physically and feeling numb emotionally. It’s an awful feeling when I realize I need someone to physically make me take care of myself or otherwise I won’t. I have been trying to be conscious of my hygiene and make it a habit to keep up with it no matter how I am feeling.
October 27th, 2019
Although I’ve never read the book and can’t say how the two compare to each other, this show is a great combination of both light and funny as well as deep and dark. It makes you think and you get incredibly invested in each of the characters' lives. I would rate this show as a 10 out of 10, maybe even an 11. I really felt like I could relate to a different part of each character, and Alaska fascinated and inspired me. This show made me laugh, cry, and feel every emotion in between. I also liked how it was long enough to enjoy it for longer than a movie, but short enough that you feel closure and it doesn’t require too much time commitment. I highly recommend this show to anyone who enjoys a show full of emotional rollercoasters.
October 17th, 2019
This past weekend was a crazy one. It was my first weekend with my girlfriend in six months, and I had a whole trip planned for us so we could get out of my university town and explore the east coast together. I bought tickets to the Young Thug concert in Portland, Maine, and booked a night at a hotel in South Portland. I was planning to take her to Boston the next day because she had never been there and it was the city of my childhood. My family has made so many trips to Boston in the past ten years so I love being there, and I almost went to Boston University but then decided I wasn’t fit to live in a city, I just love visiting them.
Our plans were derailed when I nearly derailed off the highway.
September 18th, 2019
I’m glad that therapy has lost most of its stigma, at least from what I have seen and heard. Nowadays, it’s almost the norm to have a therapist and in my opinion I think that’s great. Some, like my parents, believe that therapy is unnecessary, an easy job for people to get money, and a way for individuals to believe they’re getting better when they’re really not. The point of the therapy is the latter; it only works if you believe it’s going to help, because it’s all mental. Of course it’s not going to solve all your problems or heal you of your mental or physical illnesses. It may seem like an easy job, to just sit and listen to someone talk, but specialized therapists really do know what they’re doing and the concept of venting to someone who doesn’t know you personally or care about you in the way that other people in your life care about you is what makes
the biggest difference.
September 10th, 2019
Some days we just can’t seem to get ourselves out of bed, or out the door. Whether its a depressive episode, anxiety, or just a low-functioning day, it’s still very important to get nutrients in your system and fuel yourself. Sometimes a small delicious meal is all you need to make yourself feel just a little bit better and more energized. Here is a list of low-functioning meals that I have made and that are easy, simple, and cheap.
September 2nd, 2019
Exactly six years ago, during this time of year, depression came out of nowhere and it was the first domino to knock over a whole series of other problems since then. Now, one of my two younger sisters is at that age and I’m terrified that she’s going to fall into the same black hole that I did, so this is not just a letter to my younger self about what I wish I knew back then, but also a letter to her; what I want her to know and what
I hope she knows.
August 19th, 2019
We all need to develop habits to help us maintain our mental health, whether or not you have an illness. We don’t all have mental disorders, but everyone has mental health, and it needs to be taken care of. Most of these habits may seem pretty self-explanatory and obvious, but that doesn’t mean we all really understand the importance of good habits or how to develop them.
August 11th, 2019
It’s important to have a daily routine for many reasons. It makes you more efficient, helps to instill good habits and break bad ones, and helps you reduce procrastination and stress. But what if having a routine and doing the same thing day in and day out isn’t what’s best for you?
I have always struggled with finding a balance between keeping each day structured versus unpredictable. While sticking to a routine helps me feel more productive and organized, those routines eventually start to wear me down. I start to question if this is how I want to live my life, and I feel stuck in my constant routine, feeling like every day is just repeating itself.
July 31st, 2019
Although I don’t have a diagnosis of chronic pain or anything like fibromyalgia, I have experienced terrible feelings of pain for no reason, which I recently discovered may be a result of being anemic. I get numbness and aching in my legs, arms, shoulders, and back. Sometimes it feels like a piercing or tingling, but I know when it’s sore from working out and when it’s not. It frustrates me so much because it happens out of nowhere and can last for hours or the whole day, and I have to just fight through but it makes even the simplest things so much harder than normal. It’s also frustrating because I complain about the pain but I can’t give any logical reason for it because there is none. Thus, I have named this symptom of mine my “weird pains”.
July 26th, 2019
An anxiety box is a box of physical comfort items that help you in times of distress. The box can be anything: a shoebox, a crate, a decoration box, a basket, etc. This is a helpful coping tool for when you are having a mental breakdown, a panic attack, a depressive episode, or just feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
Some things you can put in your anxiety box are...
July 25th, 2019
Ever since I was a toddler, I have never been able to fall asleep easily. My parents just thought it was because I wasn’t a very active child. I was quite mellow and calm, and I was always able to entertain myself, even when I couldn’t sleep. My parents said they would check on me in my crib hours after putting me to bed and I would be playing with my stuffed animals. Looking back on that now, I probably just had insomnia. It’s unlikely that I was up late worrying about life at age three, but sometimes even just an empty mind is unsettling for me. I wake up every morning actually surprised that I had managed to fall asleep the night before. Here are a few tips I’ve picked up from my years of sleepless nights, and I hope that a few will be helpful to at least some of you.
July 20th, 2019
There was a period of time when I was obsessed with discovering and exploring new apps for organization, meditation, mental health, journaling . . . you name it. I loved studying the app design and layout, the various color schemes and themes. I was also on a hunt to find an app or a few that I could find useful in my everyday life. I have been trying to work on meditating more, even if it's just for a few minutes, and trying to find online resources to help me with my recovery and healing process.
These six apps are ones that I have loved using and are designed for anyone and everyone. They are all super user-friendly and of course, free!
Hi everyone! Starting on July 20th, I will be working at an overnight summer camp for five weeks, and then I will be moving into my apartment before classes start, so I will be really busy but I will do my best to stay as active as possible!
My inbox is always open ♥︎
Stay Strong Lovelies
July 17th, 2019
Self care is so important to make sure we take time to focus on and take care of our mental and physical selves. No, it’s not selfish, it’s necessary. When you take care of yourself, you’re also taking care of your relationships with the people around you. Neglecting self-care can lead to depression, anxiety, isolation, stress, or angry outbursts, which are unhealthy for both you and your friends and family. Do them and yourself a favor and be kind to yourself.
July 14th, 2019
Imagine feeling like your entire body is suddenly about to collapse right under you. Your surroundings start closing in on you and you can’t catch your breath. You try to fight it but the more you fight the more tired you get. Your mind is spinning and pounding and voices are screaming. You feel like you might pass out, or throw up, or both. Your vision is blurry and no matter how much water you drink your mouth is constantly dry.
If you’ve experienced panic attacks, you may know exactly how this feels, or at least have felt something similar to it.
July 11th, 2019
The other day my friend told me that I am going to die laughing one of these days, because I laugh so much at everything. I’ve had a lot of my friends tell me that, but they also always say that it’s not a bad thing, because it makes them feel good about themselves. That made me start thinking about why I laugh so much at everything.
Laughing is my favorite thing to do in the world. It releases all the tension in my body and relaxes my mind, especially when I’m laughing so hard that I can’t breathe. When I’m laughing, I forget everything and it draws me into the moment so that it’s all I think about. I tend to forget about the outside world when I’m with certain people who make me laugh constantly, but unfortunately that also means I tend to forget to text my parents or girlfriend back for hours and they start to worry.
July 10th, 2019
One of the most significant symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder is a severe lack of sense of self. According to VeryWellMind, a “stable sense of identity means being able to see yourself as the same person in the past, present, and future.” A stable sense of self also “requires the ability to view yourself in one way despite the fact that sometimes you may behave in contradictory ways.” While many people without the disorder have identity issues, people struggling with BPD, like myself, have a very unstable self-image, and sometimes that means we can’t determine who we are in relation to other people.
July 8th, 2019
Your bedroom, or any personal space, is important to have as a place of sanctuary where you can retreat to when it’s time for the day to end, or when you just need your own space. Not everyone may have the privilege of having their own personal room or place, but if you have that luxury, don’t take it for granted. Use what you have to create a space that is both comfortable, functional, and helpful for your mental health and wellbeing.
July 6th, 2019
I have always been a people pleaser; I’ve always thought that if I make everyone around me happy, they’ll like me more. Not that I was necessarily desperate for people to like me, I was just extremely insecure and pleasing people was the only way of getting myself to believe that people didn’t talk behind my back and secretly dislike me.
However, it got to the point where people would take advantage of me. I began being unhappy because trying to please everyone was exhausting and I started to realize it was also impossible. I started focusing on my own needs and my own desires, I would treat myself and focus on “self care” to the point where it became too much. I ordered more take out and bought more Starbucks drinks than I could afford, I stayed in my room and watched Netflix when I didn’t want to go out, and I slept through too many classes because I considered that as taking care of myself.
July 2nd, 2019
Dissociation, according to Better Health Channel, is “a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity. It’s one of the nine main symptoms of borderline personality disorder, as well as a symptom in numerous other disorders and being its own category of disorders. It is most commonly experienced during or after a traumatic event, however this doesn’t mean that you can’t experience dissociation even if you have not experienced trauma or have any history of mental health issues. Each individual’s episodes of dissociation is unique to them, and if it is a recurring thing for someone, each episode may differ from each other for that person.
June 30th, 2019
Body confidence is so important, but it can be hard to get there for anyone, especially if you struggle with mental disorders like depression and anxiety. I have always hated every part of my body and been extremely insecure, and I only recently started to become more comfortable in my skin and with the way I look, but it didn’t happen overnight. Here are some tips for learning how to love and accept your body the way that I did-
and am still currently doing.
June 27th, 2019
Stress can emerge in all kinds of forms, manifest in many different manners, and affect people in countless ways.
Just as stress reveals itself differently among each individual, stress management is also something that is completely unique to each person. The options for how to relax and find peace with your mind are endless, but here is a list I’ve compiled that can get you started!
Hello! My name is Sasha and I am a college student studying psychology, born and raised in Maine. I struggle with borderline personality disorder, depression, and anxiety. Writing about mental health and self-care helps me stay hopeful and positive and keeps me open to learning new things about myself while also helping others in their journey to and through recovery.
@myborderlinejourney on instagram